It’s the most festive time of the year: jingle bells, white twinkling lights, and hot cocoa by the fire. What’s not to love?
Well, if you’re number one crush is Ebenezer Scrooge you may as well find out now – it’s better to figure out how to squeeze some joy out of the season or cut ties before you waste any more precious holidays on a total grump!
But what if you’re just not sure if your new crush is actuallya holiday Grinch? Take the test and find out.
1. What does your crush do when you find yourselves near mistletoe?
a) Pull you in tightly for a big smooch
b) Wait until you initiate then give you a quick peck
c) Roll his eyes and say he’s allergic
d) Grab the mistletoe off the wall and stealthily stuff it in a bag
2. Are you getting each other gifts?
a) Yes! He says he can’t wait to see the look on your face when you open yours
b) You talked about it and agreed on a $25 limit
c) He says he doesn’t believe in consumerism so…no
d) He’s got a room full of gifts ready…but they all have other people’s names on the tags
3. What does he say is his favorite holiday movie?
a) It’s a tie between Love Actually and It’s a Wonderful Life
b) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
c) Bad Santa
d) He’d rather “just watch the town burn” from the mountain than a movie.
4) You give him some homemade Christmas cookies. What does he do?
a) His eyes well up with tears and he says, “Just like mom used to make!”
b) He scarfs one down gratefully then takes you out for drinks to say thanks
c) He flicks off all the sprinkles then nibbles the limbs off the gingerbread man one-by-one
d) He offers them to small children then takes it back, laughing maniacally as they cry
5) Carolers! He…
a) Grabs a tambourine (out of nowhere) and starts singing and bobbing along
b) Smiles and puts his arm around you while respectfully listening to “Silent Night”
c) Screams, “No Solicitors!” and slams the door in their face
d) Sneaks out the back while they’re singing to steal all the gifts from under their trees
6) Your family invites you both for Christmas Eve dinner. What does he say?
a) “Great! We’ll be there at 6:00am to start helping. I can make my Grandma’s Famous Fudge!”
b) “That sounds like fun! What kind of wine should I bring as a hostess gift for your mom?”
c) “I mean, I guess I’ll go. As long as there’s no meat. Or dairy. Or gluten. And no red or green anything.”
d) “Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn’t allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me – I can’t cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing… I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?”
7) His favorite holiday treat is:
a) Brittle! Or maybe candy canes. Peppermint Brittle!
b) He actually loves cranberries and doesn’t want to blow his diet this season
d) Whole Lightbulbs
8) Uh oh, a heavy snowfall last night has you guys stuck in the house! What do you do now?
a) He puts on his footie pajamas and says you can spend the day stringing popcorn for the tree!
b) He works remotely from his laptop until 11 then spends the afternoon with you napping in front of the fire
c) He sulks while intermittently yelling at The Weather Channel
d) He spends the day plotting with his dog Max
9) Would he consider doing something to give back this season and if so, what?
a) He’s volunteering at the soup kitchen then spending the day ringing the Salvation Army bell
b) He suggests you go in together on a gift for a disadvantaged local kid
c) Absolutely not. What has Christmas ever given him?
d) If by “giving back” you mean “ruining Christmas” then yes, that sounds about right.
10) You get invited to a Holiday Cocktail Party. What does he wear?
a) A non-ironic Tacky Christmas Sweater
b) A crisply tailored suit with a festive tie
c) Skinny jeans and a scowl
d) A heart that’s three-sizes too small
You’re not just not dating a Scrooge, you may actually be dating an Elf. This guy (or girl) might just have some unresolved childhood issues that will come into play, but only time will tell. If you can stand the festiveness, they’ll make Christmas more fun than anyone.
This guy gets it. He realizes it’s a new relationship and doesn’t want to let the holidays make things too serious too fast but he thinks the season can be one of the most enjoyable, romantic times of the year! He’s a keeper, at least until next year.
Unfortunately, this guy is about as Grinch-like as it gets. If he feels so ambivalent about the holidays, what else is he going to get grouchy over? This guy takes himself a little too seriously and his attitude is likely to sink your relationship over time.
Well, this guy is actually the Grinch. Odds are, you’re named Cindy Lou Who and things are going to get a whole lot worse before they get better. And that color green? Good luck finding a shirt to match.