9 Reasons to Love Long Distance Dating

Girl Talking Long Distance to Boyfriend

Long distance dating. Those three dirty words strike fear into the hearts of men and women alike and no more so than for online dating aficionados who often stumble across love in the most inconvenient of places. As someone with a more-than-reasonable number of long distance years under her belt, let me offer you a few reasons, nine to be exact, to not just tolerate but love long distance dating. Love happens, my friends – I’m just here to offer a silver lining…

1. Constant Vacations

If you’ve got to travel to see each other, why not travel somewhere fun? For example, my boyfriend and I lived on different ends of the East Coast so we once met for a weekend in DC, another time in Orlando. Spending quality time together is even better when you get to do it outside of say, Akron, Ohio and you’ll both be more relaxed if you’re away from home and its responsibilities. And really, who wants to have to sleep in separate bedrooms for the weekend at your parents’ home or shower in a frat house if they don’t have to?

2. Deeper Connections

One thing long-distance daters may not realize is that they miss out on all the physical and social cues that normally come along with early dating; no shoulder grazes or hand holding but rather phone calls and purposeful words – these are the things that bond distance daters together at a much deeper level from the get go. Saying it often takes much more courage than implying it with a touch or a wink and, you know, is infinitely less creepy.

3. Less Friend Involvement

If the worst thing about your past relationships has been your significant other’s friends, long distance dating is going to be a breath of fresh air. In these types of relationships it’s usually just you, your honey and a couple of cell phones or inboxes, leaving little room for “Crazy Pete” to insist on a man date or for your girlfriend’s gaggle to drag you shopping. Win win for everyone.

4. Surprises!

Okay, so this isn’t just a long distance dating idea but how much fun is it to get a letter in the mail or a box delivered to your front door? Long distance dating really is reinstating some of the long-lost rules of courtship, mainly the idea that suitors have to win your heart – what a novel concept (here’s looking at you, every guy that ever drunk dialed me to pick him up from a bar at 3:00am.) Gifts and trinkets mean so much more when they come from hundreds or even thousands of miles away and gentlemen, $3.50 spent at Hallmark will never get you any luckier than this.

5. Earning Trust Like Interest

Long distance lovers learn to trust each other quickly and if they don’t…the relationship usually fizzles. Though it’s hard to know your man’s out on the town with his friends or your lady’s at another work function without you, just imagine how easy it’s going to be to trust each other once you live in the same town! Never again will you have to pour a beer on a girl just because she was giving “the eye” to your babe at a bar. But maybe that’s just me.

6. Frequent Flier Miles

That’s not a metaphor – frequent flier miles are awesome! Think of all the upgrades and free legs you’ll acquire after just a year or so. Seriously, major perk.

7. Short Bursts = Extra Good Times

Seeing your significant other for only a weekend or so at a time really forces you both to come into each interaction with your best foot forward, no bickering or daunting conversations allowed. Quick visits mean lots of laughs and fun planned activities – it’s like thetotallybestweekendever each time you see each other! It really is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, not to mention the effect it has on both the male and female libido…That’s kind of gross, but you get my drift.

8. Time to Develop Independence

You know how couples sometimes seem to morph into one boring, codependent unit? Well, long distance couples never really do that and it’s because the two participants have nothing but time to develop individual interests, personalities and lives. Better rounded individuals make better partners (seriously – remember your neediest high school girlfriend? That’s what proximity breeds…) and couples who foster this type of autonomy are more likely to succeed once they enter into a normal, same-place relationship. Added bonus: Couples with their own lives have more to talk about and less awkwardly silent dinners.

9. Options

In a city the size of, say, Topeka, Kansas, there are only about 7,775 men between the ages of 24 and 35. If that’s your target market, you’re already fishing in a pretty small pond – why not open yourself up to the world of online dating and long distance love? When the rest of your life is on the table it seems limiting to discount suitors who may happen to live elsewhere so get out there and meet someone and remember that long distance dating’s not all bad! You could still be single or in the case of Nicholas Cage’s wife, actually have to live with your partner. Shudder.


  1. Bar Whiz says:

    This is one of those “silver lining” posts? indeed, for people who really want their independence and someone for an occasional activity, long distance is the way to go – the partner won’t be pressuring to move in after a month. But for most other people, long distance becomes stressful after a month.

  2. Emory says:

    I didn’t take it as consolatory. That’s not to say that long distance dating would be preferred, but I think there are advantages that can strengthen relationships over the long term. The potential deeper, spiritual connection and learning to trust someone when they aren’t standing next to you watching you would seem to be two big positives.

  3. ashok says:

    That “time to develop independence” reason shouldn’t be taken for granted. I’ve seen way too many couples where partners seem to think the other exists to fill every immediate need.

  4. Grady Pruitt says:

    I have never had to do a long distance relationship, but these sound like some good things to come out of one. Still, I also hear they don’t usually last long. Guess it all depends on trust.

    Thanks for sharing!

  5. R.JAYABALAN says:

    I used to have a long distance date at Florida and I live in the east coast of India at Chennai. After about three years of dating she found faults with me when there is none. She found a friend in US at her native only and asked me to stop writing to her, which i agreed for her sake. But I still believe in long distance dating.

    • Dating Sites XO
      Dating Sites XO says:

      Three years is a long time and that had to be painful. Definitely for you. You’ve got a great attitude though. Bet you’ll find someone who’s worthy in time.

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