The perfect dating site. Does it exist or is it just a myth propagated by the head honchos at eHarmony or The Spark Network? Of course, every person has their own idea of what constitutes a “perfect” dating site but I’ve decided to take it a step further and pick out a few elements that add up to make this hypothetical site greater than great (hey developers – MAKE THIS SITE! I only want a small commission). Here are a few of the things that could take an average dating site into fabulous territory…
Of course, the perfect dating site is free. Not “free for a basic membership,” (basic membership not including communication with other members) or “free for fourteen days” (and then your credit card gets dinged monthly for the next six years.) Nope, I’m talking FREE, free…no credit card required for sign up. Of course, free sites generally mean more SPAM and less security, but I’ll get into that in a moment.
SPAM and Security
Told you! OurPerfectDatingSite.com is going to have zero pop-up ads and it’s not going to bombard anyone’s email box with links to pointless surveys or offers to upgrade. As far as security’s concerned, the site runs background checks via a trusted governmental agency (surprise! You have to use your real, full name!) and suspicious daters just aren’t let on the site at all. To keep singles secure, the Perfect Dating Site’s going to assign every dater a number rather than a cutesy, off-putting screen name that will protect everyone’s identity. Also, singles will avoid having to chat with “SxygUrL2001” or “JuiceHeadfrmJrzy.”
Oh, dating site profiles. They’re either devoid of useful information or read like a Dr. Phil diagnosis sheet and don’t even get us started on the pictures. At The Perfect Dating Site, profiles are going to be full pages and each user has to take a quick (as in, 10 minutes) personality quiz that includes really general questions about goals and romance. Singles will have to submit 6 pictures and a behind-the-scenes dating committee will select the best to display – no more leaning-on-a-Mustang glamour shots! First and foremost, profiles will display the location of the single, a criteria highly linked to the success of a relationship (seriously…how much does anyone want to be long distance?) Profiles will be randomly displayed in batches of 10 on the homepage so daters can refresh to get 10 new choices – simple but brilliant like apple pie or Natalie Portman.
Of course, the perfect dating site will have all the standard search criteria including sex, age, city and level of commitment. Some additional search options will be included to spice things up, though: “Women who know how to drive stick” or “Men who cook.” Additionally, searchers can exclude certain underlying criteria to avoid wasting time with the wrong match including “Men who still live with their parents” and “Women who have dogs smaller than a banana.”
Singles really seem to respond (pun intended) to instant messaging, so of course the Perfect Dating Site will offer IM. Email accounts are good too but daters who agree to video-chat will be given special priority in the profile list – no more bait and switch here! Video chats will be limited to 5 minutes each, sort of like speed dating, which will encourage daters to feel a spark then continue communication in depth on the phone or in person and discourage lengthy video strip teases.
Not only should there be thousands of members on the Perfect Dating Site but millions…hundreds of millions. Odds are in favor that with so many singles on a site, daters can’t help but make a connection. What better way to make a match than to be online with millions of other singles at the same time, literally?
The perfect dating site not only has several matchmakers on staff to pour over profiles and send monthly emails to daters with specific match suggestions, but staff psychologists will be online at all times as well. Instant Messenger will allow singles to strike up a quick chat with a doctor who can help them through everything from commitment issues to body dismorphia…sane dating is fun dating! And while I’m at it, daters will later be referred to a free marriage counseling site intent on getting that stubborn divorce rate down…
The Perfect Dating Site is less about who’s online and more about the extra features. Singles have been swindled into thinking they need access to “winks” and tokens and sendable smiles in order to make a connection online but in reality it’s what daters don’t have access to that encourages them to dig in and find out more. Surprisingly, it’s the simpler online ideas that have really stuck. Come to think of it, someone’s already more or less started working on the perfect dating site described above…and it may or may not be called Facebook.