Ashley Madison

We don’t feel comfortable with this niche, do you?

, Dating Site Profile by

Editor’s note: When we asked Brad to review of Ashley Madison to include in our collection of online dating and social media sites, we were not aware of the infidelity niche aspect (In Boston, AshleyMadison.com’s ad campaign promoted the site with the motto: Life is short. Have an affair). Let’s just say it’s not the kind of site that you and your significant other can sit down and browse together. We don’t endorse it and recommend looking at some of the other online matching sites such as our reviews of eHarmony, which I like a lot better. Make your own decision. Thanks for educating us Brad.

Brad Hostetter’s review of AshleyMadison.com below originally appeared on Clickfire.com.

Ashley Madison kind of sounds like a porn star name, and this online dating service actually does lean more that direction than many of the others. It specializes in affairs for married or attached people, which has gotten the attention of numerous publications. While plenty of people think this kind of service is unethical, there’s no denying the popularity of such practices. Rest assured, reader, that my first-hand knowledge that follows was done entirely for your benefit. I don’t wish to get in trouble with my “attachment.”

There are over 8.5 million members at Ashley Madison, and almost all of them are there to date outside of the relationship. The service makes it absolutely clear that it exists for just that reason. Still, you will find a few singles looking for relationships with other singles, but who would want to hook up with them, since it’s obvious they can’t follow directions?

Signing up can be extremely quick, since you only have to fill out about ten questions related to your location, physical characteristics, and relationship information. However, you have the option of filling out a more detailed profile that includes descriptions of your interests, your perfect match, and your “intimate interests.” You have the capability to add a profile photo, but you’ll find that the nature of this matching service makes profiles with photos fairly rare. It all adds up to Ashley Madison functioning like the Yahoo Personals of the polyamorous.

Members can get quite specific in their profiles with an interest checklist of over fifty preferences ranging from scented candles to tattoos. Some members also have a “private showcase” that may include photos you wouldn’t want your grandma to see. Other members must be invited to view them.

Ashley Madison offers a lot of help for members who want to make discretion a high priority. Members can turn off their profiles at any time, and they can also set things up so they appear offline even when they are actually online. In case you are about to get caught with your hand in the cookie jar, there is a panic button that will whisk you away to a movie trailer website. Good luck hitting it in time, though, as the button is awfully tiny.

Mischief and discretion come at a premium with Ashley Madison, so expect to pay two or three times the cost of cheaper online dating sites like Date.com or Perfectmatch.com. There is no monthly subscription price; instead members pay for credits, with the cheapest option being 100 credits for $55. That will buy you 5 hours of instant messaging time or 20 emails to new matches. The ultimate package costs $360 and covers six months of unlimited emailing and 750 credits (which equates to more than 37 hours of instant messaging time). Members can also choose to transfer credits to other members.

Other features you’ll find on the site include a tips section, where Ashley Madison offers advice for successful encounters. The online matchmaker seems to have thought of everything a new member could want in the way of help, even providing a “Dictionary of Acronyms & Emoticons” and a chart listing the most popular days and times for members to be on the site.

Ashley Madison also includes some cost-cutting features such as the ability to respond to a paid member’s email for free. There is also the unique option to send a collect instant message.

Be sure to thoroughly understand the consequences that can come from using the Ashley Madison online matching service. It can’t be emphasized enough that this is not just another online personals site. That being said, if some excitement outside of your current relationship doesn’t clash with your values, Ashley Madison can offer you a well-organized center for finding just what you’re looking for.

Ashley Madison Profile

Total members

8.5 million+

Geography

U.S. and some European countries

Originally Posted

September 16, 2007.

Last Revised

June 6, 2013.

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57 User Reviews

  1. chris kannenniet

    Ashley Madison is a glorified chat room at best and probably run and operated by chatters. Women looking for men are swamped with e-mails almost immediately. If your a good chatter you can rise above the ranks and chat with a lonely women posting 10 year old pictures of herself when she was 30 lbs thinner. Some genus ex chatter came up with the idea of how to get chatters to pay for chatting, the men get to bid for the attention of women and the women get to be pedistlised and dotted upon by groveling males and both parties get to pay for it…..pure genus

  2. truthhurts

    Ashley Madison is pretty much a pipe dream for men who are hoping they can find an alternative to the obvious rules of nature.

    you will realize this truth quickly.

    Most of the women’s ads on AM are false profiles wich serve as bait for the man who wants to believe there are millions of married women dying to have sex with him.

    False ads account for about 95+% of the ads.

    Of the remaining less than 10% that are not false ads, about half are from professional escorts.

    The remaining legitimate ads are from real wives who are fat, old, unsightly. no wonder they need to pay a website to find someone who would want to touch them.

    the simple fact of life is that a a hot woman that you would want, doesn’t need hlep finding a man. an attractive woman is offered free sex everyday of her life.

    the point is the website works hard to get your money. all those fake ads are constantly hitting you up for chat, try to get you engage in email exchange, and send collect emails all of which will run through your credits pretty quickly as you are charged for contact, not by the month.

    a pretty good scam that preys on men’s fatal weakness.

    LET THE BUYER BEWARE!

  3. Victor Kilo

    I tried out this website about 6 months ago and it did not work at all. Its not worth paying 55 bucks for something you can burn through credits in a one weeks time. If you decide to go through with it anyway, you will waste your money. Your better off going about it the old fashion way.

  4. DontBelieveIt

    This site is a waste of time more than it is a waste of money. The ratio of men to women is way too high, most of the women are unattractive and half the women are just browsing and get cold feet. The only difference with Craigslist? CL is free!

  5. brittany

    This is the most disturbing website I’ve ever heard of. I’m watching this couple on the Tyra show and am wondering, what is our society coming to when there’s a website devoted to helping people cheat on their spouses? This is disgusting and people need to respect the marriages they enter into. No wonder our country’s divorce rates are through the roof.

  6. Renee

    I think its ridiculous! Its for spouses to get online because, their not happy with their home lives. If you want something more, Be honest with your spouse rather than go behind their back and have an affair. Its peoples emotions you all are playing with. I find it discusting! Its like, you obviously are too big of a jerk to be honest so, you go about it the other way. People that get on here, dont care about no one else but themselves. They dont think about the families that can be broken. I wonder what ever happened to “Death do us part”? I think the people are sick and should be honest!
    Think about what your doing!

  7. Jan

    The AM website works. I’ve patronized several dating sites and it is the only one that led to successful relationships. Even so, it can be rough. Dating is about rejection. Moving the venue from a bar to a website doesn’t make it easier. In fact, if you’re the kind of person who is better in person, or isn’t comfortable writing, e-dating could put you at a distinct disadvantage. In the problematic morass of relationship websites, AM is far better than most.

  8. Joe Dirt

    Website grabs as much money as they can every step of the way. Accepting collect message is different from sending a message to that same contact,so you pay twice. Watch out when sending a message, it is marked as priority by default so you’ll pay double unless you turn it off each time. After granting private key to show case, you have no record because history of sent messages is only 20, so you need to purchase the history to know to which contact you granted the keys. Don’t waste your money, start going out and meeting women in person, it costs nothing. If you are afraid of rejection, go to the next town, be a gentleman and start talking to women. If you get rejected, no big deal, you know that you probably won’t meet them ever again. So what’s the big deal.

  9. Truthy

    ITS A SCAM! For men especially! Don’t join –they’ll take your money and string your around with NO RESULTS. Spend that same money on women you meet on business trips, much (much!) better results. Think about it: the people making these comments aren’t pushing to another site –we’re pointing out that this website is just bad (I’d be much more suspicious of its anonymous online defenders!). Don’t let yourself think “oh, maybe they’re wrong and I’ll be lucky”… how do you think they get their money? When guys let their junk think for them (which we’re often waaay too guilty of, myself included). You’ve been warned.

  10. Brian

    OK – If there is one thing that I have over all of you offering perspective on Ashley Madison it is this. I have lived enough years to know the cost and pain of marriage break ups due to cheating spouses. I have lived with and married a woman that I was absolutely 100% faithful to during our time together. I also know that no life is lived when a persons sex life is not alive with lust, love and passion. Here is the answer to the problem – Be open and honest with your partner about your needs. If these do not exist in your marriage and your partner will not respond in a manner that is producing the desired outcome then seek assistance with there knowledge. You do not have to be specific a to whom your seeing or where or how just that you are. Swinging has become a very open way in which to keep your sex lives charged and your home life in tact.

    Really does anyone have sex with the same person for a lifetime and feel the same fireworks they had when the first met? I think not! Live your life without regrets.

  11. Lora

    Ashley Madison does work for a woman. I am an attractive educated woman who was looking to spice up my life. I got to have that fantasy guy that I always dreamed of with NSA.

    From a woman’s point of view it is not a scam. I had recieved numerous hits from tons of men. If it did not work for a guy maybe they need to look in the mirror and be honest and say “gee am I as handsome as I make myself out to be?” maybe that is why it does not work for alot of guys.

  12. Jack

    A SCAM . Period. Double the price to send a message. You pay to be able to open up your mail. You pay to see photos that have been send to you and that are showing a woman doing the dishes!!! And you never get back a reply from any one, from any winks etc…. Most women on the sites are too good to be true. In my opinion they are false nicks that have been put online to attract gullible guys. And you don’t get very far with your first nearly $100 of credits!..PLEASE avoid at all cost. And never count on their online help to answer any questions you might have. You will receive an email confirming that AM has receive your message, but you will never hear back from them again! A SCAM….The guy who founded this must be laughing his way to the bank!!! And don’t believe the occasional male or female who pretends it does work. They are probably affiliated with AM

  13. skylar jones

    The site is a scam. Wake up and don’t waste your money. They got me – very misleading… employees pose as women, etc. don’t be a sucker.

  14. Philyguy

    AM is a total ripoff for guys. They have fake profiles and also females who are paid to create profiles and generate traffic on the site. Of course it will work for females. Any guy who has ever sat down at a bar knows how that dynamic works in favor of the female. I personally have sent out over 400 messages and received one positive reply and that one didn’t turn out to be anything successful. Save your money and go have a beer. You will have better luck.

  15. Dude007

    Thought I would add a little to the pile of reviews. For a woman, this site is golden. Sign up and you will instantly be smacked by a tidal wave of men, all itching to get it on with you. A girlfriend of mine recommended this site to me (one that I used to hook up with a long time ago). On her first weekend of having her profile up (with no profile pic and no description whatsoever), she was bombarded with over 400 winks, picture keys and emails!

    For the guys….I wouldn’t go anywhere near this site! First, you can see what you’re up against. For a woman to find you, she has to wade through a of shit, and I do mean a TON. The ratio of men to women is severely lopsided to the point where I bet you would win the Powerball before you have any chance of developing a relationship with a married woman. Spam and fake profiles run rampant as well (say no to the “receive collect messages” option!).

    This site is just like any hook up sites out there….Fling, Adult Friend Finder….all the same. Don’t bother! Pour all your time, money and energy into improving yourself….learn to play an instrument….women love that;)….spend some more time in the gym. If that’s not your thing, try your luck on Craigslist or Plentyoffish.com. At least they’re free.

  16. karl michael anton

    The comments here have pretty much nailed it. The Ashley Madison “Agency” is a SCAM! After tossing a few hundred dollars down the drain, it dawned on me–too slowly–that I was sending emails to women who either don’t exist or are no longer connected to this site. It’s a joke. STAY AWAY!
    AdultFriendFinder is a little better.

  17. Marketing Genius

    Ashely Madison IS: Marketing Genius
    Ashely Madison is NOT what you think it is.

    Check out who owns these domains. All of them are actually REGISTERED by the company they’re supposed to be “bashing”. Check out the REGISTRANT addresses, then go find AM’s address… they are the same.
    ashleymadisonscams.com
    ashleymadisonscam.net
    ashleymadisonreviews.net
    ashleymadisonprofiles.net
    ashleyscam.net
    ashleymadisonfraud.com
    ashleymadisoncheating.com

    A company that puts THIS much effort into making sure real reviews of their site get drowned out is without a shadow of a doubt, hiding something.

    For those unfamiliar with domain registration – look up “whois ashleymadison.com ” on google, then compare to some of the ones from the list above. Go see for yourself.

  18. Karla

    I have to say I’m not getting pd by am. As a female I did find friend, one person chatted w/ several males but if u are a female u will get lots of male attention, not all good looking or young looking but beware for the females if u are looking for a emotional thing u may nor find it here there is a few players like to hook up with several girls, and it is strictly about fantasy sex for them. So If u are looking fir love then try something else. As fir the males I’m not too sure how it works out for all of them I xo know how it worked out fir the guy I met, and I’m pretty looking girl not I think.

  19. Gene

    I’m male, I tried it and it was a big disappointment. “Marketing Genius” proved a point I was suspecting, and I bet a few remarks here are as fake as those websites.

    I’m better-looking than average and can write well, posted a great pic (verified by real females) and got a few nibbles from semi-attractive women who just stopped communicating with me after the first contact. The hottest ones never responded at all- there’s only a few of them and I suspect the comments here are correct- they are likely bombarded.
    Men-stay away. Women- maybe.

  20. Ricky Blank

    Ashley Madison is a scam! My experience was at first hopeful, then frustrated the pissed at the realization of what’s going on there. After contacting them and complaining about fees I didn’t agree to they agreed to refund my money. Their system is based on over charging and hoping most people won’t contest it or won’t notice.

    Meanwhile, no people people at all responded to me (a fit, 5′-11″, professional who has had no problem attrating women in the past) even though many women expressed interest. Go figure, Can you say “I smell a rat”?

  21. pete

    well what I can say is: I spent 100 usd with no good results, the site shows the ratio 7 guys 3 women so that is the reality so I received 4 responses that after my second message never were answered. I supposed the site also is manipulated, since is the way to push you at the beginning to buy more credits.

    I think is a good site for women since they are in the store of guys and a lot of option to take for free since the guys pay everything

    I saw a comment of a girl that mentioned come on you need to do it is to see you in a mirror. well well I can say that I am not Brad Pitt guy but I am 6’ white tanned athletic body 5 times a week work out, at my 35 yr old I have the same weight of my 18 yr old, with tremendous success before married and I did have not an answer so the truth is 100 guys for 10 girls.

    If you are persistent, I mean open to spend money and patient you can have a girl soon or later or you can go to a night club for better results

  22. david

    I wouldn’t call this a scam – it’s just a website that takes already stacked odds against men in the dating scene and makes them even worse. I’ll confess to a number of affairs that have started the old fashioned way (meeting a girl in person), through craigslist, and through adult friend finder. The old fashioned way is best, because you know what you are getting and you know that she liked something about you. Craigslist is the most efficient, but the results are very mixed. CL is better than before about protecting from spam, but you will still get a lot of bs responses – be very careful! Make sure the person sounds like a real person. Talk on the phone before meeting (there are some sorry men who pose as hot women to try to meet and then try to convince you that you really wanted to be with a man!). Adult friend finder can work, but it will cost you and the real people on there are a very small percentage of the profiles shown and mostly older women or couples. Still, none of these options costs even remotely what AM apparently costs. I would really avoid it as a man since you are given so little info about the “women” before you pay to email them. On AFF, you can pretty instantly tell the fake profiles by looking at them. Here’s my guide to spotting fakes on AFF or CL(or probably AM):

    On AFF, whatever program spammers are using (or, as I suspect, the AFF people stack the site with fake hottie profiles) actually puts quotes around their “tagline” – so you can always find the fakes just by the quotes around the tagline.

    The username is weird – like a name or sexual thing followed by random numbers, e.g., sexymomma37563 – um, no one real makes up user names like this unless its their birth year or something.

    The picture is a young hottie. Young hotties don’t use these sites to find men. They get drunk at bars.

    The picture has the woman and a friend in it. NO woman would put up her friends picture along side hers for this purpose.

    The “woman” asks you to verify or check her profile on another site to get her number or something – don’t EVER click on one of these other sites. “She” will often even say she’s doing this to avoid spam!

    The “woman’s” email is totally unresponsive to your ad or email or is so vague “I love hot sex and kittens!” that it could be sent to anyone.

    These are all easy things to look for as a filter, so don’t give up hope. You can meet some losers on these sites, but you can truly also meet some amazing people. Good luck

  23. Erin

    All of these sites are a scam for guys. They sucker guys in and they pay for it. AM, AFF, and especially craigslist are LOADED with spammers & scammers. Occasionally you’ll find a real human in the mix (CL is especially bad at this) but most of the ads are automated spam. I don’t know why these sites cant filter this crap out. Probably because it makes their subscriber figures look better. AFF is bad too. I found a photo of a friend of mine on one of their bait profiles! She was furious about it. They took a photo that she used on Hot Or Not. AM, AFF, CL, etc are great if you’re a perfectly sculpted guy with an 8″ tool that wants to wine & dine an overweight 40 year old soccer mom. Lots of “BBW” girls with unrealistic expectations, but they will score because there are 10 guys for every girl. Girls always have their pick of the litter – even the ugly girls.

  24. Jim

    Ashley Madison is the worst of dating sites, total waste of money and time.

    it screwed me by charging me without my knowledge, although I clicked on the right buttons it switched and charged me anyways, I just deleted my file in disgust and let them enjoy the $89.for that I will tell everyone what a bunch of thieves they are, as for the women, mostly ugly frustrated hacks posting old pictures.

  25. Another Jim

    If you create a profile on AshleyMadison.com they will charge you $19 if you decide to stop using their service and want to delete it later. Otherwise you can only “inactivate” it– but they will keep all of your history and photos on file. This is apparently a brand new policy. By the way, they also claim the right to use any photo you post in your profile on their site, anywhere and for any purpose. So if you post those nude photos of yourself, don’t be surprised if they show up someplace else! Read the fine print in the user agreement, they state this very clearly.

  26. maximus

    The abundance of Ashley Madison related websites are fake as well. There are numerous “testimonial” websites which are set-up to entice men to sign up for AM.
    Your money is better spent elsewhere…

  27. Jules

    I think your site is disgusting you should be ashamed it breaks marriages up and will never cheat.

  28. Janet

    amen to that!!!!! its increasing our countires moral and ethical standards. people just shouldnt get married – or just get counseling.

    i mean to say that am is decreasing, not increasing, our standards. this website makes me so angry that I type too fast and say the wrong thing.

  29. needname

    So not only can you have an affair behind your husband’s back, you can waste all of his money too… on a dating website!

  30. Bob

    AM is complete bunk, at least for guys. I think most of the female profiles are “dead” because people just abandon them when they find out they can’t have them removed from the site without paying up an additional $19. If your a female, you’ll get tons of attention and lots of pictures of genitals. So, if you’re a female, and wish to subject yourself to this – and these types of sleazeballs – then go ahead. If you’re a guy, your chances of hooking up with a legit female (meaning not a prostitute) are extremely remote.

  31. Scott

    I’ve been on AM for a week. While I did in fact meet up with a really hot housewife that wanted to get back at her husband, i do believe that any female with a public photo is a paid revenue generator for AM, as i am 0 for 4 in getting those people to reply to me after they send me a collect message. I believe the site is mostly a scam, but it still does have the potential to work, but you’ve got to be a decent looking guy and you also can’t be a boorish nimrod.

  32. Able1

    AM is a complete utter scam.

    The profiles are 100% fake and the posters here who say it works are paid by AM to come to sites like these and say it works.

    I got to a point where I even told one woman on AM that she was fake. She was a white chick (supposedly) and had a nice glamour shot. I purposefully wrote to her to see her reaction. Where as other women never even responded, this one responded IMMEDIATELY after I said her profile was fake.

    The even bigger give away was that her written English was full of spelling and grammatical errors….a clear indication that it was a hired person sitting behind a computer responding to emails. What utter BS.

    Another woman turned out to be a live chat phoney.

    This site should be closed down…it’s a mafia racket.

  33. Janice

    I tried this site a few times now over the last year. Maybe it’s me, but I haven’t had much luck as a woman with this either, and I’m better looking than average in weight, face, personality, etc. I met one guy in person that I wanted to continue with… the chat and everything was hot for a month, but in person he was often just uneasy. I think I was more of a fantasy person for him, and when reality hit he didn’t want to hurt his wife – so I am left frustrated and now unfortunately even more emotionally cautious with any of the guys afterwards. So there are no guarantees in life, but you would think that a man on AM would at least be able to perform up to my minimal expectations.

  34. twanda

    So I went on a date with a girl who I believe is paid by Ashley Madison to go on dates. I think this is how it works, no ones real

  35. Elyse

    The website worked for me. I am an attractive female who is pretty much ignored by my spouse. I won’ t leave because we have a child together. It took me 8 months to find what I was looking for on the website. We have been seeing each other for almost a year. It is easy to judge others, but I will never let my child grow up with divorced parents. It is what it is.

    • Marie

      Better to keep the family together than divorce over sex, to be sure.

      • Emory

        There are many ways to make an effort to keep the family together. I would hope this wouldn’t be necessary, especially for an attractive female as stated.

  36. John Webb

    It’s a con for men; it’s just set up for women, there are no real women on there and they receive so many mails they can pick and choose. A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY PLEASE STAY OFF THIS SITE ESP MEN. COMPLETE CON TRICK

  37. John Cottis

    I’m still a current member and I’m beginning to think its all a scam. I kept receiving emails that my mail has been opened but I can never get in touch with these women. They either don’t answer back or they are online and their chat icons are switched off. It’s really starting to annoy me that I’ve pulled the credit card out twice now and have had zero success. I have 40 credits left and I will use them because I don’t want these daylight robbers to steal anymore than they already have from me then I will be deleting my account and instead go to a bar where there are women who are looking for a quick hookup. The old fashioned way will probably always win out over online.

  38. Aphrodite

    I joined AM 3 weeks ago, for all of about 4 days. Within 5 minutes of posting my profile, a friendly and appropriate man about 40 miles away asked me to chat. I hadn’t even finished my profile, so was sort of surprised, but went ahead and talked to him as I filled out my profile. We viewed each other’s profiles, and spent a few more days chatting, texting, and talking away from AM. Though I had nice email conversations with a few other men, I didn’t meet any in person, besides the first who I chatted with.

    I am an attractive, fit, 43 year old successful, professional, woman, and my chatter is an equally attractive and successful 44 year old man (he’s tall and well built, too!). I know a lot of reviewers think AM is a scam, but for me, AM has been salvation. I’m no longer active on the site, as I’ve been seeing the man I met for the past 3 weeks. We enjoy each other more each time we meet.

    I recommend AM highly, for women and men who aren’t afraid to be honest about what they look like, and what they’re looking for. I didn’t lie, my guy didn’t lie, and we were both extremely happy when we actually met in person. I don’t plan to return to AM, but would if this affair were to end (though I’d be very sad!).

  39. kjay

    It is a huge scam!!! The females are real, but are not interested in much more than making you spend your credits. I honestly believe that some are actually married ladies who hate the idea of the site and have a profile on just to spite the men interacting on it. I believe also that call girls, hookers and escorts the company pays after you spend a certain amount. They, (Ashley Madison), pay the escort to have sex with you. But you must spend a ton of credits before they will actually pay her, probably a ratio or percentage of what you pay to Ashley to interact with her.

  40. James

    Ashley Madison was originally up front in its terms and conditions but boy haven’t they learnt to pull every trick in the book to take money from you! When you used to sign up you could tick a box saying non renewal. Now they over ride this and take renewal money. To cancel and leave that cost you more money. Ashley Madison is a one way money machine. Do not even sign up in the first place. Many of the comments above are true and a lot are obviously from interested and related parties. Stay clear!!

  41. DIR

    James is absolutely right. I clicked off of auto-renewal 2 months ago and AM did over ride my denial for renewal today and charged my credit card. I told them months ago to cancel the $19.99 charge for female initiated response and they still charged me. Two phone calls and they refuse to refund. IF you are having problems call your CC and contest the charges! Better still STAY AWAY FROM THIS CRIMINAL THIEVERY!

  42. Murphy

    AM is the *PERFECT SCAM*. They rip you off, and then you can’t complain because you don’t want to draw attention to the fact you were on the site. They even threaten to send AM labeled correspondence to your house.

    The MAJORITY of the profiles are fake/stock profiles. Of the very few real profiles, they are either girls flat out admitting they are looking for sugar daddy arrangements, or lonely fat women. Lastly, of the very rare real and attractive females on there, you are competing with 1000 other dudes to talk to them.

    If you are looking to meet a 300lb woman, you might be in luck. Otherwise avoid this site at all costs.

  43. Ava

    From my own experience there is a lot of men on there. I met with a few and I’m real! I’m also attractive! However this site is Dangerous! Went on looking for cyber chat and to see what was out there. Didn’t have any spark with the ones I met so didn’t continue anything. Also was feeling guilty. However then I received a message from guess who? My husband. I’m 100% sure. Saw photos. Took me a few responses back and forth to figure it out. What should I do? Anyone? Want to confront but don’t want him to know I was there too. Damn site!!!

  44. DK

    IMO, this is a horrific rip-off con game. The scumbags automatically charge credit card after I told them I wanted to quit! They said to just use up my points and it’s over, I did, and WHAM they charge me again and refuse to refund!! Stay away from this! Most of the so-called “ladies” are either hookers or fake – probably company paid. IMO.

  45. paulie40

    Have to say it is a well conceived business. Firstly, i signed up and gave as little information as possible. Secondly, i ticked every language box as if I was able to speak over 12 different languages! Thirdly, and very quickly i received great news from incredible local sexy married ladies (with sexy lingerie pics and poses) that wanted me to contact them!! Finally, you realise that it is all to good to be true!!! Do not get misled and instead spend your few euros on a few beers and congratulate yourself for not been conned.

  46. John

    This site is absolute scam. Look at the reviews here. The only ones who say it works are women. That’s because there is about a 20:1 ratio of men to women, not the 7:3 they claim it to be. There are a lot of fake profiles, but to be fair every dating/hookup site I’ve ever used has these. There are real women, the problem is there is just way too much competition on this site. It’s a total sausage fest. Even ugly, fat women have their pick of the litter

  47. Janet

    absolutely pathetic. No wonder our children are screwed up- especially when their parent is participating in this scum. why not spend less money and get counseling?? all of you am users should be ashamed of yourselves.

  48. AMBurnedInDFW

    I’m going to chime in on this discussion. I’ve heard all the comments that AM is a scam. I am a male member of AM and I will agree that parts of AM are a scam but I wouldn’t call the entire site a scam. Frustrating? Absolutely! And there are robots/fake/whatever female profiles that are a scam. If you are new to the site, beware of the female profiles that are online 24/7. And beware of the women that send you a collect message.

    I have been a member of AM for several years. Probably spent a total of $1000 so far. I have yet to have an affair but I have met (online) a handful of women that I have developed an on-line relationship with. I have met one face-to-face but that went nowhere.

    I was extremely frustrated at first because I wasn’t getting any responses from the women that I was contacting. (I’m early 50′s, pretty good shape and told good looking.) So one day I decided to create a profile of a woman and check out the competition. Within 10 minutes I was getting slammed with emails/chats/winks. I don’t know what the advertised ratio is men to women but I’m guessing from that experience it’s at least 100:1. And that was without a picture on fake woman profile. So I looked around at some of the other guy profiles and I figured out that I have no idea which ones are getting responses or not. But I looked at some of the verbage and tried to incorporate into my profile. My girly profile was a 35yo white female 5’2″ 115lbs. Most of the responses were in the 35-45yo range. Ah ha! Now I know the problem. I’m just too damn old for AM. So I decided I would only look for women older than me. And quickly found out that there aren’t that many. And then I wondered how may other fake women profiles are out there created like guys doing “research” like me? This is not looking good.

    Morale of this story? If you are early to mid 40′s or younger, AM might be successful.

  49. Pierre LeBrun

    I too have used AM for a few years. In my case I have spent about $750.00. My history is unlike anyone else here.

    When I first joined AM I got very frustrated at the amount of effort it took to even get a response. I hopelessly sent messages out and never got a single reply. I imagined the ratio was lopsided, but I agree with AMBurnedInDFW, it must be 100:1 men to women.

    In order to see the whole picture, I created a female profile and watched the approach of the men on the site, viewing their profiles and counting the amount of messages I received as a female. I turned this intel into a way to differentiate myself from the crowd.

    Most men go on dating sites with one intention in mind. To get laid. And most men say so, LOUDLY. With AM, most of the women are there to get some kind of attention, sexual or otherwise. Many times, women just want a man to listen to them. They are married to men who are fixers and do-ers, but are TIRED of that and want someone to just listen and be truly compassionate and sympathetic to them. This was clue one. All the men that approached my female profile were telling ME what I wanted and how they would help ME get it.

    Someone above mentioned how to spot a fake profile. If a female profile is telling YOU how they are going to ride you all night, that is likely a bot, preying on the fixer in men. Women who act like men are likely not men. It’s plain, but most men refuse to see that. Another clue I took is that most real people who are on AM have PRIVATE photos, not public photos (at least in Minnesota they do). Also, I found that most of the women who are real are in an age bracket that surrounds 38. These women have put the kids thru school and are looking for some attention. It’s just logic – why would a 27 year old be on AM unless she is looking for a sugar daddy?

    As I said, my history is different from the rest here. I stopped using AM over a year ago because I found a very compatible partner. In the end I sent over 242 separate messages (yes, I counted the number, I’m a nerd), maximizing the character count in each message I sent, customizing the message based on the profile of the woman I was approaching. On AM, many of the female profiles are blank, but that means you just need to think harder. I wanted to elicit a response and by being different, I did 7.3% of the time (see? Big nerd.).

    My profile was similarly charged with words, each of the 3 sections filled out to the maximum characters. I also put some extra effort into my pictures, getting women to click on them to look at the profile, which was FULL of words.

    The clues I took from the noise of the crowd allowed me to meet eleven different women over 4 years. Of the eleven I met, 4 ended up with cold feet and it never amounted to anything except the initial nervous coffee (and 1 spectacular dinner). I slept with remaining 7, who ranged in age from 27 (her profile stated she was 33) to 48, the average being 44. I was 45 when I started on AM.

    I know this sounds like a sales promo for AM. It’s not. Using AM is like doing any sales pitch, you need to make lots of contacts in order to get a few connections, and of those connections, not all are going to buy. In order to stack the odds in your favor, you need to be different. I know I’m different, I applied myself, and that’s what made is successful for me. Even so I have been VERY frustrated on AM because of volume of noise. I don’t think there is an answer other than persistence. If men honestly believe a woman will look at them and drop her panties immediately they deserve to be ignored.

    Lastly, I think AM is a dangerous place for men and women who are trying to find a connection I did fall prey to a scammer who wanted to extort money from me. I did find people who connected with me too closely and wanted more than I could give. My heart was broken too. But in the end, AM is just another site that caters to the naive and gullible. Don’t be naive.

  50. marsi

    I’m a female and I used Ashley Madison. Apparently I fit the typical profile 38 to 42. I met someone with a common goal of not changing our situation. He was 2 years younger and a very active member of his church, Boy Scouts, priesthood, wood badge… add a father to three children 18 16 and 12. We we’re looking for more than nsa, more fwb, activity partner. We got very close and we were friends and lovers. We were there for each other a lot of trying times in our life. Several months into the affair found ourselves in love. When his wife found out and threw him out, he was asked if you would leave his wife for me and he didn’t know. To shorten the story the mistress always ends up as dust on his road and a corpse behind him. He went back to try and make his marriage work and asked me not to contact him because he needed to give it a second chance even know he cares deeply about me and even loved me. So it goes to reason that strengthens their marriage and leaves the mistress a broken heap on the ground. I’ll never be the same. Consider long reaching consequences if you decide to join the site….. and deleting your profile is not free!

  51. Emory

    What a terrible experience, Marsi. I appreciate the honesty and sharing your story here so others can learn from it.

  52. Marie

    AM worked for me. I am also an attractive woman who gets plenty of attention from men (except my husband)–without fishing for it. After five years of knowing he went out on me, treating me poorly, and with nothing new or interesting or remotely appealing in bed despite my attempts (I love sex and being good at it), I chose to go out. I also won’t leave because of my children. I think taking care of one’s needs for lust and love and life without destroying the family is a higher road than divorcing over sex.

    I went on AM because I don’t go to bars or want to see anyone whom I might cross paths with in my daily life. I truly got lucky on AM: after 4 months and meeting 5 men in person (after screening hundreds of responses), two men were attractive, fascinating, cosmopolitan, solid people. i took the dive and the man I chose has become a wonderful, deep, caring, and hot lover and confidant. We have been together for over a year. My husband must sense something, because he starting paying attention. Though we still don’t have sex (my choice now), our relationship has improved, we are kinder to each other, support each other more, and go out together again. Go figure. My affair has not only kept my marriage together, it has improved it where discussion failed.

    Btw, the two men I found were in their sixties (my choice, I prefer sexy, older, experienced men who know how to care for a woman sexually and emotionally), handsome, great bodies from working out most days, quite virile and fun. This is not a plug for AM, I just thought that you should know these things, though rare, can happen.

    • Emory

      “This is not a plug for AM”

      Are you sure? It certainly sounds like one. I think sites that encourage affairs suck.

  53. george c

    The biggest scam on the Internet. This site has about 95% of fake profiles created by Ashley Madison people so you think that u are actually communicating with a real person. BE CAREFUL; they will also send u an email address to communicate with them; it’s fake. You are wasting your money. And besides let’s face it, a married woman who is looking for sex, doesn’t have to go on a web site, all she has to do is look around her and choose. Their charge system is a big scam and they are way over priced. This site is not worth a dollar.

  54. Scott

    Some woman will print and share your photo and data with your family and work if they feel scorned. Site does nothing about it. Be aware

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